Proof I am Loved

I have no doubts that I am the most loved man on the planet. My wife brought me home Good and Plenty's. I like black licorice. Jennifer despises black licorice, she is sickened even by the smell of the dark deliciousness. I usually only get the goods when my mother-in-law (another follower of the true path of licorice) smuggles them to me. But the other night she surprised me with a box of the good stuff. Most of you have no idea about the depth of love it requires for her to supply me these goodies.

The List

Apparently some married couples have a list of five famous people that they get a pass to have sex with if the opportunity ever presents itself. I have never had such a list until today. So far there is only one person on it because I am highly selective (Update: apparently I am not as selective as I thought, after I put some time into it I found five babes that would make my list).

There was this chick in the paper today (in my book if you are mentioned in the local paper you're famous) that sounds totally HOT! Unfortunately they didn't include a picture, but you can tell from the reporters writing that we are dealing with a mega babe. The article had to do with cooking or kids or possibly cooking kids. I don't know. I couldn't even make it thru the whole article due to the undulating waves of sexiness that radiated from the paper whenever this one honey was mentioned. All you guys should definitely check it out, you ladies may want to take a gander to, but don't blame me if she makes you want to switch teams. Remember I saw her first. So back off!

Tonight after work I plan on tracking down this hottie and then spend the rest of the night doing really naughty (or possibly knotty, I will have to see if I can find any silk or satin rope) things with her. Jennifer, honey, I am sure you understand that when a guy has a chance like this he has to take it. I will be home late.

Ramble

Sources close to me have indicated that is possible that my blog focuses entirely too much on sex, drinking and gambling. In my defense I would like to point out that these are all billion dollar industries (...what do you mean that is not a defense? If that much money is being spent on something it go to be okay, right? Fine, you bunch of Puritans). Truly, I thought my writings on theses subjects either gave friends a chance to gather so I could take their money or were humorous. The reality was that some of them weren't as funny as I thought and apparently gathering friends together for the sex thing was to awkward.

So I am left with a conundrum: what should I write about? I don't want to do a "mommy blog", my wife already does that, and it would be bad form to steal her stories even if she says she would be okay with it (also I am a guy, and I don't particularly want to do a mommy blog). I could blog about my office, but patient confidentiality and a respect for my patients means that I should not and will not write any stories involving office events. What's left to write about? Minutia! I have decide to fill my blog with the mundane events of my life that don't involve family or work (sex, booze and gambling will still make appearance, just not to often).

Still reading? You might need a hobby. Why don't you go back and count all of the commas I used and decide if they were used in a grammatically correct fashion.