The Lap Dance Watch

It is day 24 and still no dance. Stay tuned for future updates.

Update: Certain threats have been made if the Lap Dance Watch continues to be published. Unfortunately these threats of censorship must be taken seriously. The Lap Dance Watch is currently suspended.

The Bet

Has anybody out there ever made a bet with their spouse? Has that spouse after losing the bet delayed paying off on the bet or desperately searched for loopholes to get out of paying up? If so what did you do about it? You can't exactly hire Guido to strong arm a loved one and if you have to constantly demand payment you lose the fun spirit of the bet and end up with pissed off wife.

So I will tell all of you loyal readers about my current predicament and see if any of you have any idea about what I should do. On August 7th my wife and I made a bet on whether or not my mom had gone to church the previous Sunday. My mom, grandparents and little brother were coming back from a weekend at the coast when they were stopped by road closures due to the fires. They left Eureka at around 2 in the afternoon and didn't make it home to Redding until about 1:30 the following morning. When Jennifer, myself and our kids left the coast on Monday we began discussing whether or not my mom, dedicated to church to a degree that would make Paul look like bedside Baptist, had gone to church Sunday morning. I said there was no way they went, while Jennifer was certain that they had. This discussion went on for a few minutes until Jennifer said I will bet you that she went. The following wager was proposed: if they had gone to church I would have to clean the bathroom, if they didn't go to church then Jennifer would give me a lap dance.

They Didn't go to church!

Yeah for me, right?

But it is now July 30th and there has been no lap dance!

Jennifer claimed I forfeited the gyration of her scantily clad hips by bringing the subject up about a week or two after the original bet, and saying that the longer the lap dance was left undone the more interest it would collect and that it would soon grow to two lap dances. At that point she claimed the whole thing was a SCAM! And that she would in no way participate.

What do I do now?

Nominate

I was watching a show with my wife last night when I realized that I dressed quite a bit like the dorky guy in the show. I pointed this out to Jennifer and instead of reassuring me about my style choices she whole heartedly agreed. Unfortunately most of my style sense was formed by a private school dress code. Jennifer has tried, and succeeded to some extent, to change the way I dress, but I suspect I need radical help. There is a show called What not to Wear, I have never actually seen it, but apparently they do style makeovers on people. To get on the show you need to be secretly nominated by someone. So why don't you click on the link and nominate me (but you cannot tell me you did so), because I may have already nominated you.
In fact I think it would be funny to nominate various people for different reality shows. Who wouldn't want to see Joel and Leslie on Wife Swap or Mike on Survivor?

FYI: I am not really all that worried about how I dress. I think I look fine most of the time, although I will admit to the occasional fashion faux pas. For instance a few weeks ago I tried wearing hats. I wore one to the office and when I left work two hours later with Jennifer to go to Tessa's kindergarten graduation I was informed the hat had to go. I haven't worn it since.

What not to Wear