Chicken Fight

Bodies in Water
Too close, too close
Despair and Sadness

Details

So it looks like there is enough interest to hold the Summer Games. Does anybody have a preferred starting date? We could shoot for the July fourth weekend if everyone is in town and wants to get together or we could just pick a random weekend or two. Personally I think it would be best to do it over two different weekends. If anybody has a date they prefer or are not available let me know otherwise I will just put out a couple of dates.

Who Wants to Play?

I would like to officially propose a Summer Games Event Challenge. I am picturing a decathlon style contest held over a series of weeks or possibly a weekend or two. I tried to come up with ten events that would be fun, challenging and that guys and girls could compete in fairly evenly.
1. Salsa Making
2. Pop-a-shot
3. Limericks (for Leslie)
4. Horseshoes
5. Ice cream making
6. Trivia contest of some kind
7. Risk (or another board game)
8. Three Flies Up (this one may have to be split into guys and girls)
9. Golf (the card game)
10. Dodgeball
If anybody has any suggestions for other contests that should replace or eliminate any of the above please feel free to post them.

Update: Perhaps we could locate a Wii somewhere and put Wii boxing, bowling, tennis, etc in for one or some of the above.

So what does everybody say? Is this something that sounds fun?

TV Night

For Jennifer and I Mondays are soccer practice night, softball night and tv night. It seems like ninety percent of the shows we watch together are on Monday nights. The poor DVR has to work overtime starting at 4:00 to catch old episodes of How I met Your Mother and keep going until about 10:00 at night.
Last night after the softball game we were watching a new favorite the Big Bang Theory and they mentioned the Drake equation. The Drake equation is a postulate for calculating the odds of finding extraterrestrial life. I had to pause the show and ask Jennifer if it was a good or bad thing that I knew what the Drake equation dealt with (although I didn't know the actual equation). She just looked at me and said "I am just glad you don't look like the guys on the show."

Why you should name your next kid Sasha

The playoffs are coming soon!

STOP!!!

DON'T DRINK THE WATER

Bad Idea Jeans

If for some reason you ever feel the need to combine peanut butter cookies and blueberries - DON'T. It is not a good flavor combination. Also if your wife ever takes a perfectly good cookie jar full of peanut butter cookies and decides to store blueberry muffins in it just go ahead and hold a memorial service for your taste buds. They will most likely commit mass suicide once they realize the taint that has corrupted the delicious cookies they were salivating for.

Attack on the Scourge of Iowa Deemed Successful

Our intrepid reporter Candy Corn, who is embedded with the guerilla group Husks of Freedom, reports a successful commando attack on the Scourge of Iowa. Some details remain top secret but the High Corn Command acknowledges that an attack was carried out. In a brief statement President Indian Corn stated that based on information sent back by intelligence operatives they are hopeful that a grievous blow was struck against the Scourge. He said “Based upon the thrashing around on the ground like a fish out of water and the sheer volume and magnitude of the potty language recorded it is probable that a fatal blow was delivered.”
For our readers unfamiliar with the Scourge of Iowa a brief biography of her exploits is presented below. Please be warned that graphic language unsuitable for baby corn or tender shoots is used in the following report. In the 1980’s the first disturbing reports from California began filtering back to our fertile plains. Tales that described boiling oil and mastication on an unprecedented scale were first ignored as urban legends, but as time went on more and more reports of cornicide were confirmed. A name and face were finally put to this faceless ravager when an undercover operative was sent to investigate a new terror device described as a “microwave box of explosion” in the early 1990’s. She was identified as Jennifer, but was more commonly referred to as the Scourge of Iowa.


Our operatives soon lost track of her when she disappeared into the horde of young females named Jennifer that existed at that time in northern California. At that time it was hoped that memories of the Scourge would fade away and eventually the name Jennifer would just be something that was used to scare little shoots into eating there fertilizer. Then in the year 2000 reports from Texas described a new device that was being used by some soulless beasts. The so-called Whirly-pop terror chamber ushered in a new era of destruction, death and digestion centered in Irving, Texas. Many brave kernels made the ultimate sacrifice to discover the identity of the latest foe to maize everywhere. To there horror they discovered the Scourge had returned, and this time she had teamed up with Paula the Popper. You may remember the Popper as the savage which introduced popcorn salt to numerous individuals, and single-handedly tripled corn deaths in some areas.
At this time the Corn High Command began putting into place a long term strategy to bring the Scourge to her knees. Select kernels were placed in a high-stress training environment to harden them against the Scourge’s favorite weapons: burning oil and microwave death rays. Little is known about the highly secretive training these brave patriots went thru, but it is has been reported that more than a thousand kernels were prematurely popped during this highly dangerous process. The survivors form the core of the Husks of Freedom who were charged with the dangerous mission of attacking Jennifer on her home ground. Candy Corn reports that the actual attack was carried out by Colonel Taino. Colonel Taino actually infiltrated the Scourge’s sleeping chamber and cleverly positioned himself in a position to do maximum damage. When the Scourge neared him he struck and sent the masticator of millions to the ground writhing in pain. Corn throughout the fields can rejoice, secure in the knowledge that Jennifer the Scourge of Iowa is no longer lurking to chomp, gobble and crunch helpless kernels.

Update: It is a dark day for Corn. Our latest reports indicate that the Scourge was rescued from certain doom by her husband Captain Marvelous. Even more alarming it appears that the Scourge has taken an apprentice. This juvenile, referred to as Tessa the Cobinator, currently specializes in attacks on our cobbed brethren. Corn nation should quake with fear at the horrors that await them in coming days.